The month of February brings with it a day designated as Valentine’s Day. This day has become known as the day to celebrate love and connection in our society. With this celebration comes the expectation of “ideal love,” and how to express this. While candy and flowers have come to symbolize this day as a way to honor our loved ones, I invite the question of what does truly honor the process of love and connection with the people we care about.

Valentine’s Day has come to represent romanticism and gift giving, which can be a wonderful and gracious activity. This day has become a way to remember and appreciate the people that have significant roles in our lives, most notably our romantic partners. Yet, for some of us, this day can also invite feelings of not being connected and appreciated – the feeling of being lonely. The expectations of society, as well as the expectations that we place on our selves and our loved ones, can prevent this day from being fully celebrated in the way that we intend it to be.

This process raises the question of why we need a particular day of the calendar year to designate a time to show appreciation to our loved ones. It appears to be a shared human desire to be acknowledged and appreciated by those we are in relationship with. Yet, somehow along the road of our relationship traveling, we sometimes seem to lose connection with what we truly appreciate about our partners, our friends, and our own selves. Somehow we get caught in what we think – and society says - we “should” be achieving in our lives and in our relationships.

By slowing our selves down and connecting with what is truly meaningful in our lives, we can find renewed understanding and appreciation for what is of value to us. By thinking about what is working for us in our relationships and what attracts us to those we care about, we can focus on the positive aspects of relationships. This in turn leads to a continued understanding of what we are committed to in our connections. It is the small things in our interactions with others that often are the most powerful. Remembering to say aloud what we appreciate about our loved ones can have the most profound effects on the quality of our connections. We are creatures of habit - sometimes for the better, and sometimes for the worse. As we get comfortable with our surroundings and relationships, we often get “used to,” and maybe take for granted, what is truly a gift to us. Whether we are in a committed relationship or not, we can all take some moments to honor how we feel love in our lives, and how we share it with others.

One way to do this is to ask our selves some questions. Who are the people we are grateful for in our lives and why? Who in our lives have had significant influence on us, and what was it that attracted us to them? What did we and /or do we continue to contribute to these relationships? If we are single at this moment, what is important to us in a committed relationship at this time in our lives - and what is it we are committed to waiting for? In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, who are the people in our lives that we honor as our loved ones?

I invite everyone to enjoy the celebration of appreciation and love for those who are the most dear to us – on Valentine’s Day and everyday.

I invite your thoughts and ideas on this topic!