The idea for the “Connections” group was sparked when a physician colleague approached Michelle about running a group for young women living with “emotional regulation” difficulties in their lives. This interest grew from the challenges of working with young women who were dealing with serious problems like depression, anxiety, eating disorders, addiction, cutting, and suicide. Our experience at CFT of working with young people who are struggling with eating disorders has taught us that the body and the mind can be so desperately at odds so as to create intense suffering for people.  So Michelle approached her colleague Sue Steindorf, a true believer in the power of yoga practice, to see what they could fashion together that might address the complexity of the problems these young women were having. 

The “Connections” group was structured to highlight both bodily awareness, through yoga, as well as the connections between experiences of the body and participants’ own developing identities as young women.  We didn’t want this experience to feel like therapy in a traditional sense, although we wanted the effects to be therapeutic and life changing. The yoga concepts we have focused on include breath, strength, ?exibility, balance, heart opening, and stillness to help create meaningful connections personally and interpersonally.  Focused conversations about what discoveries these bodily experiences connect to in regards to feelings and relationships take place at the beginning and ending of each meeting together.

We have held three “Connections” groups over the past year with women of all ages.  Michele Rizza, nurse and gifted yoga instructor, and I have teamed up with Sue Steindorf, pediatric physical therapist, and committed yoga instructor, to facilitate these groups.  Our collaboration has itself been another kind of rich connection as our different professional orientations have created a truly unique context in which wellness and healing occur. As a personal trainer and family therapist, this group births a dream I have held about creating ways to integrate mind, body, and spirit in the healing process. Here are just a few of the comments that group participants have made along the way:

I am able to be me now. I cry with happiness - everyone has noticed. This has helped me connect my body and my mind.

I’m so much happier now, before I was crying all the time because of how sad I was, now I’m able to let feelings go.

I am a more open person, which is not easy to do. I am more confident and aware of myself. I know myself better and I have opened up to people more. I know that it is okay if people don’t understand me.

Yoga has helped me respond to stress better and I can focus on my feelings. I am connecting my mind and body, and finding time with myself to do the poses at home. I let the emotions go and focus on breath, and then the emotions. This allows me to take a break. I do the poses before bed and sometimes during the day.

I envision my hands holding my heart, and see me for me. I don’t worry as much and I am happy with myself.

Our experience of these groups has been that by blending the arts of yoga and psychotherapy together, openings are created for change that are not possible in either discipline alone. Plans for the future are to offer “Connections” groups for couples and for men.

Kim Delaney

Licensed Family Therapist

The following is a paper written by a fellow colleague, Tony Stanton. He is a psychiatrist who has published extensively in his field, and holds years of experience working with troubled youth. This piece shares a summary of the values that Narrative Therapy embodies, and that we as practitioners working with this perspective commit to uphold in our work with clients and each other.

A Little Working Paper on Values in the Practice of Narrative Therapy

Underlying our mandate to help our clients is an affirmation of their inalienable right to experience safety, respect, and meaning in their lives. To uphold this mandate the following values are put forth as possible useful points of discussion.

1. We ask permission before we offer help and we keep a strict eye on confidentiality. The exception is when we feel that someone is not safe.

2. We value curiosity and inquiry towards all the factors that either impede or promote the heart of creativity in our clients. This means that we value questions more than quick answers and that we help our clients to be explorers in their own lives. It also means that we value descriptions of real life more than diagnostic categories.

3. We help our clients search towards the preferred stories of their lives so that these stories are revealed and honored over any limiting stories that may be restraining their lives in the present. This means that we help our clients become detectives towards their successful experiences and those people from their past who have supported them.

4. We take a stand against those stories that may be dominant in our culture which prevent our clients from knowing themselves and from experiencing themselves as capable of exercising choice towards their preferred values. Such stories may include subjects of race, physical appearance, or limiting ideas of what constitutes being a person.

5. We affirm that our own work will be based on a community of support for each other - and that this support will exemplify the same values that we promote for our clients i.e. respect and support for each other’s creativity. To this end we need to meet with each other regularly as well as make ourselves available to each other on a more casual basis.

6. Whenever it is useful we will help our clients to experience us as a larger community which is committed to the rights stated above. While we are not a 12 step program we should exemplify the same principles of support and sharing that are manifest in such a program. Clients may need to know that we are not isolated individual therapists - that we help each other and that we engage the larger world outside of our own practices.

7. We believe that the body and mind constitute an exquisite instrument for the discrimination of value and that this instrument can make precise decisions through what is known as “common sense” or intuition if we free it from the burden of external restraints. It is part of our job to return this “instrument of the discrimination” back to its proper functioning.

8. We promote the knowledge each of our clients can obtain of those gifts they hold towards their families and the larger community - gifts which ultimately enhance the lives of those they are in contact with. This might be called helping people to know their place in “the larger scheme of things” and experiencing themselves as “having meaning” in the lives of others.

T. Stanton

Life presents us with many opportunities for experiencing change and transitions. Sometimes it appears that the only constant in life is change. How we approach these transitions and proceed through them can greatly influence the outcomes that we experience. Some areas in our lives that often present us with a need for change are: relationship and family transitions, career choices, living arrangements, and the social/political/economic considerations of our time.

While some changes that we find ourselves working with may be of our own choosing, others often are not. There are times that we may find ourselves experiencing a need or a request for change that we are not ready or prepared to move into. While it may seem during these times that we are not in control of our life circumstances, it is important to remember that while we may not have control over what life presents us, we do have control over something very powerful – our attitude towards these situations. Inviting change in with an attitude of openness and curiosity can increase our opportunities for growth.

In times of change, it is helpful to reflect upon the values, commitments, and hopes that we have for our selves and our families. By staying connected to what is deeply important to us in life, we can gather the strength and courage needed to embrace change. Staying in tune with what we truly value and stand for in life allows us to align our thinking and actions with these values and commitments. There is an anonymous quote that states: There is no growth without change, no change without fear or loss, and no loss without pain. It is often through the hardest and most painful experiences in our lives that we experience the most growth.

Change often presents the unknown, and the unknown often brings with it a sense of fear. It is important in times of change to connect with community and support systems that can help us move wisely during these times. We can reap great benefits and feelings of security by seeking support and guidance from our community resources. By tapping into our community, we can find legal/financial counsel, individual/family therapy, spiritual guidance, and group sharing. We form our identity through our relationships with others, and it is during times of change that we need to stay in relationship with those who are able to understand and support us.

Self-care is another resource for us during times of change. It is important to notice how we are handling the stress and excitement that comes with transitions. By taking care of our physical and emotional health, we are better able to engage the extra energy that moving through change may take. Life changes can bring new awareness and developments in our lives. By keeping an open and positive attitude, noticing what choices we do have in our lives, utilizing our resources, and taking care of our health, we can move forward in the best way.

The New Year often invites a process of reflection into our lives. Upon entering a fresh calendar year, we often take the opportunity to draft intentions and ideas about what areas we might like to create change in - often know as New Year’s Resolutions. For some, this process has become a ritual that is welcomed, assured, and productive. For others, it develops into a process of expectations, anxiety, and possible failures. The initial intention is typically the same for both responses - a call to do something differently.

Looking forward to the future often connects with the experience of looking back towards what once was. Noting what stands out for us from the past is usually a precursor to setting up our hopes and dreams for the future. How we choose to respond to our memories - more specifically the memories that we claim are disappointments or failures - can affect our current state of being. While we usually have as many successes filed away in our personal narratives, these often get passed over during the commitment of “self-improvement.” Self-improvement has the opportunity for some to metamorphosis into self-criticism, which often steals from our memories of accomplishments and appreciation in our lives. In my work with others and in my own personal experiences, I have learned that we often spend more time thinking about what we could have done differently, the big “what if,” rather than sharing appreciation with ourselves for what we feel we have accomplished successfully.

Reflection about our past disappointments tends to result in feelings of guilt and shame, while reflection upon our personal successes typically produces feelings of pride and effectiveness. By honoring where we have been and the learning curve of the trials and tribulations, we are more apt to remember the skills that we used that brought us to a feeling of success, or that enabled us to make it through difficult times. When we remember these skills, they can then be applied, adapted to, and utilized in our current experiences.

When we are witness to our loved ones’ difficulties and struggles, we typically respond with grace, acceptance, and a sharing of the confidence that we have that they will move through these times. It would seem very beneficial to apply this same grace, acceptance, and confidence with our own selves. Often there are many influences in our lives that are participating in the experiences that we are having. Some of these may be in our control, while others may not. It is important to recognize these other factors in the equation of our lives. Some examples of these influences are physical limitations or injuries that come our way, family and social crises, emotional and behavioral health issues, occupational changes, relationship difficulties, and the choices of others. These are all issues that we deal with over the course of time that may impact our ability to manage our choices in certain situations.

Community plays a substantial role in how we perceive ourselves. It is helpful during times of committed change to surround ourselves with a supportive environment. Connecting with others who share similar goals and commitments as we do can create a network of accountability and understanding for all. We help ourselves as well as our community. There is something transforming about hearing others’ shared experiences and narratives – especially when we can relate them to our own. We build our sense of self through relationships – they become a mirror for how we perceive ourselves.

By looking at our so-called “failures” with a lens of compassion, we can ask ourselves what we might have learned through these times and how that has been, and might be, useful going forward. Making goals for ourselves can be a growing and productive enterprise, and bringing our personal knowledges of what we do well in the world can help us in moving towards these goals. Some questions and ideas to ponder while constructing new commitments and goals for the New Year are:

• When reflecting upon past accomplishments and successes in your life, what were some of the things that were doing at the time that contributed to these experiences?
• What were you thinking and feeling?
• Who were you in relationship with?
• What motivated you, and where did you feel energy for working on your hopes and dreams.

• When you think of times that were the most difficult for you, what stands out for you about how you were able to move through these times?
• Were there particular resources – spiritual, social, or community based– that were helpful to you?
• Did you say to yourself you do not know how you may get through these times and then did?
• What guided you to new places, and what new opportunities developed along the way?
• Who did you meet during these times, and do these people still play a role in your life?

I wish you the best in moving forward with your commitments, values, hopes, and dreams for this New Year!

Making the connection about how our mind and body work together is an important part of being healthy. Our mental perspective often affects our physical well-being, and the reverse is true as well. Tuning into what our body is telling us can be helpful for improving our mood and overall outlook on life. We have choices in how we can care for our ourselves. It begins with a simple scan of how you are feeling head to toe, inside and out. Often times our moods and emotions are directly related to how we are caring for ourselves at that time. One example of this is why we feel better after we exercise. Exercise increases blood flow and the natural mood elevating chemicals in our body that help us to feel better. By taking a daily inventory of how we are feeling physically and emotionally, we can start to invite connection between the two.

Below are some helpful ways that you can tune into how your body is speaking and help care for it:

• Be thankful and appreciative of at least one element of your body every day. We often overlook and take for granted what our bodies are doing well. Appreciation is the key to staying positive and continued success in self-care.
• BREATHE! Pay attention to your breathing throughout the day. Taking time to notice and slow down your breathing is one of the best ways to combat stress and fatigue.
• Start your day with a glass of water… 50% to 60% of your body weight is water! One of the main causes of headaches is dehydration.
• Take note of the first nutrition that you give your body in the morning. Think of food as fuel and put the best gas you can into your tank. You will most likely follow this pattern into the rest of the day and evening. People often feel better the days that they are eating well and getting the nutrition that they need. Remember that your brain requires glucose to function properly.
• Ask yourself if you are getting the rest you need to fulfill the demands you are asking of your mind and body. Fatigue can aggravate depression and other psychological and physiological symptoms.
• When was the last time you exercised? Exercise clears the mind as well as the body, and has been proven to decrease symptoms of depression.
• Ask yourself where in your body you feel the emotions you are not expressing. Thoughts and emotions that are not expressed often lead to physical symptoms such as stomachaches, headaches, acid reflux, neck and back pain.
• Seek out quality collaborative health care. Find practitioners who will work together to give you the best care possible, and who are willing to look at multiple approaches to a problem or issue.
• We have one body to take us throughout lives - treat it as you would any cherished relationship. If we neglect our bodies they tell us. What has yours been telling you?

Referral sources that you may find helpful:

• www.bellevuechiropracticassociates.com
• Candace Aasan, LN, NP (425) 576-8017
• Scott Rose, NP (425) 576-8017
• www.chensacupuncture.com
• www.overlakefamilymedicine.com
• www.redmondmassage.com